btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
a search helicopter?!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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