why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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