u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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