All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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