woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
