You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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