areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
