these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
