She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
