Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
