I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
