I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
