i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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