My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
