Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
