so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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