we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
