hotel room ftw
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
