sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
