I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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