I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
