Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
