I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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