I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I pour the whiskey from now on
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
