Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
