I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
