16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
