Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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