I think my vagina is haunted
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
