I want to stick my p in your. b.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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