i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize