I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
