It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
