what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
