She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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