I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
