Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
