my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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