you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
