I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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