Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
