i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
