ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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