Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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