Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
