my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
