YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
