I hate your face
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize