Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We had sex on a dog bed..
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize