If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
