I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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