bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
