I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
