Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??

(630): View more from Illinois

savin' lives aint cheap

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(812): View more from Indiana

can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?

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(847): View more from Illinois

I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

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(303): View more from Colorado

his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick

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(217): View more from Illinois

Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns

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(330): View more from Ohio

He was the only guy who ever made me cry..

(1-330): View more from Ohio

Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?

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(424): View more from California

at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went

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(541): View more from Oregon

Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.

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