Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
