did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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